My Favorite Mom-to-Be Look

By Julie Weingarden
http://www.clubmom.com

Pregnancy doesn't have to mean hiding under shapeless shirts and leggings or tent dresses; the trick is to find a look that spells confidence and comfort. Here, four women share their favorite apparel picks.

Name: Sandy Frinton
Age: 32
Hometown: Poughkeepsie, New York
How far along: 28 weeks
Favorite look: Jeans

I'm a preppy, classic dresser, and I typically wear clothes from the Gap, Eddie Bauer, and L.L. Bean. My husband likes me to wear the kinds of things I always wear. He doesn't like "pregnancy clothes." I don't think he's used to my new body.

My favorite maternity clothes are my husband's old Levi's jeans from college. I found a bunch of them when we were cleaning one day. They're in all different sizes so I can grow into some of them. His big jeans were a great find because I'm still too small for maternity jeans. His Levi's are baggy, long, and so comfortable. You can't beat the fact that they were free. I don't want to invest money in clothes until I'm skinny again.

People say that I look cute in his jeans and I like that I don't look as big to the outside world as I really am. I top the jeans with his old oxford shirts—white, pink, yellow, and pinstriped. I just throw them in the washer and dryer and roll up the sleeves. With his clothes, I'm sporting bigger sizes, but I feel confident knowing I've kept my style.

Name: Jill Holder
Age: 33
Hometown: Brooklyn, New York
How far along: 36 weeks
Favorite look: Power suit

I'm very short, so I'm conscious about looking round and stocky. I like to wear clothes that give me a shape. Most maternity clothes are "tenty," like smocks and baby doll dresses. I just can't do the look where clothes balloon out over the belly.

So my best find has been the business suit I bought for less than $50. It's charcoal gray and has pants, a skirt, and a jacket with a zipper down the front and two pockets on each breast. The jacket also has a clip so I can taper it in the back. I like that I can switch off between the skirt and the pants. Everything is made out of cotton jersey, so it's comfortable and machine washable.

I spice up the suit with a pair of black leather mules. It's easy to forget I'm pregnant because I look so chic in the outfit. I can walk into a meeting and be taken seriously. One guy at work didn't even know I was pregnant. When I wear bulky maternity clothes, people just look at my belly. When I wear my suit, people look at my face.

Name: Angie Tucker
Age: 29
Hometown: Garden Grove, California
How far along: 26 weeks
Favorite look: Stretchy separates

It's difficult to find stylish clothes that I'd wear if I weren't pregnant. It's bad enough that you gain weight, yet don't look pregnant until the fifth or sixth month—the last thing you want to do is wear dorky clothes.

I'm normally thin and big-busted with an hourglass shape. I like to dress sexy and wear fitted fashions, and pregnancy is no exception. My favorite look is a long, black stretch polyester-blend skirt with a black short-sleeve top. The top was $14 and the skirt was $20. The shirt is stretchy and snug. It shows off my belly and has a scoop neck that looks great, especially when I wear a little choker necklace. The skirt has a drawstring waist so I can roll over the top to make it shorter if I want. I wear black slides to show my toes. I get a lot of compliments when I wear my sexy outfit. It's nice to know I can be pregnant and keep my personal style

Name: Jadie Gamble
Age: 38
Hometown: Atlanta
How far along: 31 weeks
Favorite look: Bathing suit

I'm kind of chubby, and I got bigger sooner than other women. When I was six months pregnant, I probably looked like I was at eight months. I'm really big now and people ask me if I'm having twins. But I'm not worried about the weight gain—I think I look pretty good all around. In fact, I like showing off my pregnancy.

I bought a great black one-piece swimsuit with spaghetti straps for $35. It has a skirt that makes my thighs look nice, and its scoop neck shows off my cleavage. The other day I felt so good in it, I pranced around the pool.

I actually feel more confident in a bathing suit when I'm pregnant than I do when I'm not expecting. In a bathing suit, people definitely can see that I'm pregnant. My husband likes when I show some skin, too. He says I look like a really cute pregnant chick.

Julie Weingarden is a writer based in Royal Oak, Michigan.

Copyright © 1999-2004 ClubMom, Inc. All rights reserved.

Ready, Set, Go Wild

By Alison Ashton
http://www.clubmom.com

When Terry Stroman plans her family's summer vacation, she never hears a chorus of "Been there, done that" from her sons, ages 11 and 13. That's because the Stroman clan is hooked on taking outdoor-adventure trips - a growing travel trend during the last ten years, according to the Travel Industry Association of America (202-408-8422; www.tia.org). So far, the Stromans have visited Yellowstone National Park, the jungles of Belize, and Utah's Desolation Canyon. Next summer, the family is planning a five-day, multisport-adventure trip to Colorado.

Adventure travel covers a huge range of activities, from cushy inn-to-inn cycling trips to hard-core, high-altitude treks. "Soft" adventure, with activities that offer excitement without too much exertion or danger, is big with families, according to Dave Wiggins, a vice-president of GORP Travel, Inc. (877-440-4677; http://gorptravel.gorp.com). "Camping, hiking, biking, horseback riding, and canoeing are among the most popular ways to experience the great outdoors as a family," says Wiggins.

What to Consider Before You Go

• The age of your kids. Most trips have a minimum age for kids, which is determined by the type of activities involved. Generally speaking, adventure travel is a better choice for families with older kids-ages seven and up. For trips that involve rafting, some companies require that youngsters be at least ten years old.

• The type of activities. For first-time adventurers, Wiggins recommends a ranch- or lodge-based trip that offers plenty of activities for families with young children or a variety of ages. Some adventure-travel groups offer half- and full-day activities, another good option for families new to the experience.

• Family-focused or family-friendly? Be sure you understand how the kids will fit in. Family-focused trips are designed with young adventurers in mind, down to the range of activities, level of difficulty, and quality of food. But don't automatically disregard trips that aren't marketed especially for parents and children. The Stromans' trip to Belize wasn't specifically for families, but the kids loved it nonetheless.

• Will other kids be on the trip? Meeting another family with kids the same gender and age as yours can be the difference between a good trip and a great one.

• The roughing-it factor. Some families enjoy the camping experience; others prefer the comforts of a condo or a lodge. Ask specific questions about the accommodations.

• What do the fees cover? Trips like these can be expensive, but moms agree that you get lots of fun for the money. Stroman says her trips' all-inclusive rates provided convenience and comfort. Make sure you understand what the fees cover (lodging, activities, equipment, meals, transportation) and ask about discounts for kids. If you're flexible, you can trim costs, perhaps by scaling down accommodations (for example, taking a one- instead of a two-bedroom condo) or by opting for more self-guided activities.

• Don't forget tips. Tips for the guides—for example, $50 to $100 per guide on a rafting trip—generally aren't included in the price. The outfitter can offer guidance on appropriate tipping.

• Kid-friendly guides. Make sure that the trip operator has plenty of experience working with kids, says Wiggins.

• Gear up. Although outfitters typically provide most of the equipment, ask for a suggested packing list. Don't forget such items as hats and high-SPF sunscreen. If you need serious gear, such as outdoor sleeping bags or tents, you can rent the equipment affordably from a sporting-goods store.

• Consider less expensive options. If an adventure vacation organized by an outfitter doesn't fit in your budget, check out alternatives closer to home. Rangers at county, state, and national parks often lead kid-oriented nature hikes and other programs. Check with local sporting-goods stores for affordable day and weekend adventures in your area or visit outdoor outfitters such as REI (www.rei.com) and Adventure 16 (www.adventure16.com) for gear and travel tips.

Copyright © 1999-2004 ClubMom, Inc. All rights reserved.

Sanity Tips for Eating Out With the Kids

By Marion Winik
http://www.clubmom.com

Believe me when I tell you that the young gentlemen of my household, ages 12 and 9, are not cosmopolitan or gourmands. The best thing you could ever pack in their lunch boxes is a nice cold package of Lunchables, and they love beef jerky, french fries, and pizza. But - here's the surprise - they also sometimes get a yen for sushi, tofu, fried calamari, artichokes, Mexican food, or dim sum. They love to eat out, and they love to eat well.

I'm afraid I can't attribute their tastes to any exceptional quality of their attitudes or palates. I guess it's simply a result of continued exposure to these foods and environments. According to Isobel Contento, a professor of nutrition education at Columbia University's Teachers College in New York City, "Continued exposure to new foods is extremely important. Research suggests that children sometimes need to be exposed to food ten to fifteen times before they develop a liking to the food."

Research by Contento and many of her colleagues supports my hunch: Any kid can learn to dine out and enjoy a broader range of foods, if given the chance. Unfortunately, resisting the temptation to feed kids only "kid food" ordered from "kid menus" at "kid-friendly" restaurants is no piece of Tastycake. But if you don't, you wind up with kids whose narrow palates and general cluelessness about restaurant behavior are the self-fulfilling prophecies of Ronald, Wendy, and the Colonel.

I love going out to eat, but I don't love anything that comes in a nugget or is served in molded plastic. My solution is this: While we do consume our share of burgers and pizza, our family also patronizes real restaurants. If you're ready to try something a little more civilized and adventurous than another trip to KFC, here are a few tips to keep in mind.

Tasting Tips for Kids

The journey of a thousand meals begins with a single bite - or something like that. Here are some clues to guiding that first morsel safely into the hangar.

• Don't make a huge deal out of the new food in question. Start simply - just let your kids see the grown-ups eating and enjoying it.

• While you don't want to flat-out lie, remember the old "tastes like chicken" ploy. You might say in your most casual tone, "Want a bite?" Then, when you're asked what it is, say, "It's like steak" (in other words, it's venison). Or try, "Taste a bite and see if you can guess."

• Never eschew bribes: "A quarter for the first person who can guess what it is." "Taste it and you can pick the dessert."

• If they absolutely hate it, do not make them eat it. If they're not sure, you might suggest a second taste, perhaps with soy sauce, pepper, or lemon to personalize the flavor.

Copyright © 1999-2004 ClubMom, Inc. All rights reserved.

The Importance of Routines

By Liza Asher
http://www.clubmom.com

At 8:30 p.m. at the Osborne family house in Burlington, Vermont, an exemplary bedtime process is underway. The three children are upstairs changing into their pajamas, brushing their teeth, and settling into their beds to read. There is remarkably little protest or variation. "Bedtime is the one area where our routine has not wavered," says mom Eleanor. "Since the boys were toddlers, we've been doing the same thing, and now it's automatic. This is usually the calmest period our day."

Regular schedules provide the day with a framework that orders a young child's world. Although predictability can be tedious for adults, children thrive on sameness and repetition. "Knowing what to expect from relationships and activities helps children become more confident," says Dr. Peter Gorski, assistant professor of pediatrics at Harvard Medical School in Cambridge, Massachussetts.

Routines begin from the first days of life, says Susan Newman, a social psychologist in New Jersey, affecting the relationship between parent and child, setting the stage for rocky or smooth sailing as your child gets older. Babies, especially, need regular sleep and meal schedules and even routines leading up to those activities (a story every day before nap- or bedtime, for example).

As she gets older, when a child knows what is going to happen and who is going to be there, it allows her to think and feel more boldly and freely, Gorski adds. When a child does not know what to expect, his internal alarms go off. Ultimately, parents benefit as well: "Knowing what is expected cuts down on parenting struggles," says Jodi Mindell, child psychologist and author of Sleeping through the Night (HarperCollins).

Tips for Implementing Routines

Plan regular mealtimes: "It is so valuable to the developing spirit of children to have one meal together each day as a family," Gorski says. Sitting together at the dinner table gives children the opportunity to share their day's experience and get support for whatever they're feeling. The emphasis is on togetherness, so if your children need to eat earlier, at least give them dessert while you eat your meal. This is also an ideal time to introduce routines that give children responsibility, such as setting or clearing the table. Older children can be pre-dinner helpers and washer-uppers.

Wind down before bed: Consistent nightly rituals are soothing and take the battle out of bedtime. But after an exhausting day, it's tempting to skip the preliminaries when bedtime finally approaches. Don't, stresses Mindell: "About 20 to 30 minutes of calm, soothing, and consistent activities get children ready." Find what works best for your child—some children are revved up by a bath or fidgety when listening to a story. Yours may prefer doing a puzzle together or listening to music. For older children, bedtime is an ideal time for conversation. My 12-year-old son likes me to sit on his bed and talk for a few minutes before he goes to sleep.

In general, make the room conducive for sleep. Set aside a time each week for room cleanup (another important routine!), when your child puts away toys and books and you change the linens.

Be consistent but flexible: Routines are essential, but allow some room for flexibility. Although the Osborne family thought their bedtime routine was a blessing, there have been some problems recently. "I was completely rigid about my oldest son's bedtime, and he is now incapable of veering from that routine. If we are out later than his bedtime, he becomes upset," Eleanor says.

Unexpected events, like surprise guests or errands that cannot be postponed, may result in a nap in the car seat or a skipped meal. But if we react with frustration when this happens, our kids will, too. Try to prepare your child ahead of time for the change and reassure them that things will return to normal tomorrow.

Liza Asher is a mother of four and writes on parenting issues for national magazines. She lives in Montclair, New Jersey.

Copyright © 1999-2004 ClubMom, Inc. All rights reserved.

When Dad's Away

By Jennifer Moses
http://www.clubmom.com

I really dread it when my husband travels. The idea of him packing up his two favorite ties and his container of Johnson & Johnson waxed dental floss throws me into a tizzy of anxiety. First off, he's getting into an airplane—which, as everyone knows, will be held together by Band-Aids. But mainly, I dread the idea that he is leaving me, albeit temporarily, alone with the kids.

The problem is that there are two more of them than there are of me. Among the three of them, they have eight million after-school activities—a logistical nightmare for one woman to tackle alone. And at a certain point in the day, I begin to thirst for conversation that doesn't revolve around, for example, farts. I rely on my husband to be a beacon of intelligent conversation at the end of a long, trying day during which I've morphed from a hopeful and even pleasant person (who looks way, way younger than 40) to a harassed and nasty witch. So maybe we don't always talk about the decline of American letters or the state of the Middle East. So maybe, sometimes, we just sit there in total, exhausted silence—but at least no one's talking about farts.

Luckily for me, I married a man who does not, in fact, travel much on business. But when he did go on a trip recently, I felt slightly ill for a full week beforehand. Then...he left. And I realized that, just for starters, for the next three days no one would ask me where we keep the flashlight batteries. Maybe, I thought, this won't be so bad. It also dawned on me that my household routine was drastically simplified. Usually I have to cook one meal for the kids—say, macaroni and cheese and chocolate milk—and an entirely different, more sophisticated meal (perhaps spaghetti and chocolate milk) for the grown-ups to eat later. That means that I typically don't finish washing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen until around 8:30 at the earliest. Then I haul myself upstairs to fold the laundry that's still in the dryer, do my requisite nighttime channel surfing and kvetching, and get into bed around 10—which is way too late for this cowgirl. But even then, it's not over: My husband inevitably stands before me, holding up a white shirt in one hand and a pink one in the other, asking, "Which one of these do you think goes best with this jacket?"

But during my husband's recent absence, I didn't have to deal with making two dinners, cleaning up two sets of messes, or helping him choose a shirt. In fact (and I feel kind of guilty for even thinking this), I didn't have to be bothered with any of his personal needs or issues—his ego, his work-related boo-boos, his laundry, the sound of his snoring.

I don't want to brag, but here's what the kids and I ate: pizza the first night, pizza the second night, and pizza the third night. On Friday night, after the kids were in bed, I watched You've Got Mail, a movie my husband swore he'd never see. I went to bed early. Amazingly, the kids weren't all that horrible, either. They seemed to know that, with their dad out of town, they'd better be nice to their mom. They must have realized that if they set me off, they wouldn't have some other, nicer parent to run to.

"Oh, I know just what you mean," an acquaintance remarked when I told her that I was going solo for a few days. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder!" Only that's not what I'd said at all. What I'd said was something along the lines of, "You know, I really don't miss my husband one bit." Not that I'd want to make a steady diet of it, but as a once-a-year, short-term event, being the sole voice of authority just isn't all that bad. And Domino's delivers.

Jennifer Moses is a mother of three and the author of Food and Whine: Confessions of a New Millennium Mom (Fireside).

Copyright © 1999-2004 ClubMom, Inc. All rights reserved.

When Mom Has a Temper Tantrum

By Melanie Howard
http://www.clubmom.com

Each month, my five-year-old son's kindergarten class compiles a "book of days," in which the children share their daily home experiences with one another. The next month, the book gets circulated to all the parents. Imagine my chagrin when James brought last month's book home, and there—between "Mollie and her mom made brownies" and "Jeremy helped his dad take out the trash"—was "James's mom was angry with him this morning." My temper, in writing, laminated and distributed for all the world to see.

Worse yet, I realized that almost all our recent mornings had degenerated into Mommy screamathons over seemingly minor matters—dawdling, misplaced gloves, sibling bickering. I felt terrible, and obviously James did, too. How could we break this angry pattern?

"Yelling is usually a sign that a parent has no strategy," says Thomas Phelan, a clinical psychologist in Glen Ellyn, Illinois, and the author of the popular 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 (Child Management, Inc.). At a loss for what to do, moms may resort to yelling out of anger or frustration. But the end result is that parents feel guilty and children get the emotional message that they are bad.

It's because we love our children so dearly that they are able to provoke such strong feelings of anger in us, according to Nancy Samalin, a New York City–based parent educator and the author of Love and Anger: The Parental Dilemma (Penguin Paperbacks). But that doesn't make expressing that anger through hollering or put-downs appropriate—or effective. Samalin, who has conducted workshops for parents of toddlers through teens for more than 25 years, says the key is to feel and acknowledge your emotions but not let them control you and make you act irrationally.

Samalin and Phelan recommend drawing on these following strategies when your kids are driving you up the wall:

• Exit or wait. When you feel your anger getting the better of you, briefly withdraw from the situation until you calm down, Samalin writes in Love and Anger. Phelan agrees: He suggests stepping out of the room, counting to ten, going to your bedroom, and closing the door—whatever it takes to restore your cool.

• "I," not "you." Avoid attacking your child with "you" statements—"You are such a slob!" or "You'll never learn." Instead, think in terms of "I": "I don't like picking clothes up off your floor every day" or "I get upset when we're not on time." These are less hurtful and inflammatory.

• Put it in writing. If you are too angry to speak, don't. If your child is old enough to read, express your feelings in writing. Sometimes just the time required to find pen and paper will help you to cool off.

• Stay in the present. When your child makes you angry, don't work yourself into a tizzy by listing every offense he has committed in the past week and is likely to commit in the future. Stick to the issue at hand.

• Restore good feelings. When you do lose it, reconnect with your child as soon as possible. That may mean saying you're sorry and giving a hug and kiss to a younger child. For an older child, you may want to offer an explanation of why you were angry along with an apology. Don't worry that apologizing will diminish your authority—it won't. It shows your child that you respect him and teaches him that everyone can be wrong sometimes.

• Recognize what the problem is. Is it really your child's messy room? Or are you sleep-deprived? Feeling overwhelmed at work? Mad at your husband or mother or boss? Be aware of when you are more vulnerable to anger and resist the urge to transfer negative feelings to your child.

• Make yourself—and all family members—accountable for lashing out. Institute a "no losing it" rule to make kids and parents aware of the times they go ballistic. But do it with a light touch. For instance, make a chart and tack on a sticker when one of you has an outburst. If one family member is accumulating a lot of stickers, it's time to talk about it.

• Carry a tape recorder. When you feel yourself about to blow, turn it on. If you explode anyway, play back the tape and imagine yourself as the child on the receiving end.

• Use cognitive therapy. This technique is sometimes used to calm fearful fliers. Analyze your thoughts and put them in perspective—or, as Phelan puts it, "deawfulize" the situation. (Fliers learn that their fear is of crashing, not flying. And since crashing is unlikely, their fear is not reasonable.) Ask yourself—when your children are fighting, say—if it's really that horrible. Think of the situation as aggravating but normal behavior that merits a calm, rational parental response.

Copyright © 1999-2004 ClubMom, Inc. All rights reserved.

Working From Home?

By Laura Koss-Feder
http://www.clubmom.com

When Trish Cetrone, the president of a home-based public-relations-and-marketing firm in Orinda, California, first started her business, she avoided out-of-the-office meetings like the plague. "I was really focused on billable hours. I didn't want to waste work time fighting the crazy Bay-area traffic," she recalls. But after a few clients insisted on some face-to-face sessions, she realized that "efficiency isn't everything," and she began to welcome the break. "When you work from home, you have to force yourself to get out regularly," says Cetrone, who now makes sure to plan meetings with colleagues and clients at least once a month.

According to the National Association for the Self-Employed, an organization based in Washington, D.C., the nation has 17 million home-based entrepreneurs like Cetrone, many of whom are constantly faced with the isolation that comes from being a one-person operation. The same goes for full-time telecommuters, especially long-distance ones. While most home-based workers relish their situations, spending the majority of your workday solo is inevitably draining; virtual contact via email or phone can only go so far. The adjustment is often especially difficult if you've just made the transition from the busy, bustling corporate world to the quiet of your home.

Finding creative ways to beat this loneliness is important if you're going to succeed long-term. "You have to create the right kind of environment and schedule from the beginning," says Rudy Lewis, the president of the National Association of Home Based Businesses. "If you're alone too much, feelings of isolation can worsen as you grow your business."

The only way to beat isolation is to get out and make human contact. But if you're trying to build a business—or please a faraway boss—it may be a struggle for you to walk away from your desk, even for an hour. "It's okay to give yourself permission to be out of your office," assures Ellen Parlapiano, the coauthor of Mompreneurs: A Mother's Practical Step-by-Step Guide to Work-at-Home Success (Perigee). You may also find it difficult to escape if one of your goals in working at home is to spend more time with your children. "Even though you may be paying for child care, you should still take a break and see others during the day—just as you would if you were working in a big company and went out to lunch with a coworker," says Cetrone, who has two daughters, a six-month-old and a three-year-old.

Time-out Strategies

Replace your chained-to-the-desk habits with these new ones:

• Get involved with local chapters of professional associations in your industry and/or your chamber of commerce.
  This has the added bonus of allowing you to network. "Going to business-related events is constructive for your career and can keep you from burning out," says Deborah Arron, a Seattle career consultant. Most organizations have monthly meetings and various committees and boards that you can join. To give yourself extra incentive to participate, offer to chair a committee or organize a special event.

• Pay in advance to attend events.
  That way, you'll feel almost forced to go, advises Arron. Knowing up front that you have a function to attend will allow you to better budget your time while you work.

• Start your own group.
  Joining professional organizations is a good way to meet other mothers in your field. Use this as a stepping stone to form a small circle of such moms who meet on a regular basis, recommends Parlapiano. She founded a group of her own eight years ago.

• Consider combining time away from the office with an outing with your child.
  New York City career consultant Eva Wisnik has taken her six-year-old son, David, with her to clients' offices to drop off holiday gifts. These brief meetings—five to ten minutes each—allowed her clients to get to know her on a more personal basis, plus they gave her son a taste of the business world. But, she cautions, "I wouldn't do this with an infant. Take a child who is old enough to understand the concept of a 'client,' and keep meetings brief."

Copyright © 1999-2004 ClubMom, Inc. All rights reserved.

Mom's Health Alert

By Dana Sullivan
http://www.clubmom.com

You know when your child's next doctor's appointment is right down to the hour. But how diligent are you about keeping up with your own health checkups? If you have a Pap smear every year and leave it at that, you're not doing enough, says Dr. Vivian Dickerson, the division director of general obstetrics and gynecology at the University of California at Irvine Medical Center.

"A lot of diseases that begin to develop in your twenties and thirties, like cervical cancer and heart disease, are often silent at first," says Dickerson. "But if they're caught early through screening tests, they may be cured or corrected before more serious complications develop." That's one reason to let your ob/gyn know that you're using her as your primary health-care provider and to make sure that she's comfortable in that role. If she assumes that you also see a family physician or internist, she may not address issues such as skin-cancer and cholesterol screenings during your yearly exam.

If you're between the ages of 18 and 40, here are five important health exams and screenings that can help doctors pinpoint disease early.

1. Breast Exam

Ideally, you began doing a monthly breast self-exam at age 20. If you don't know how, next time you see your doctor, have her show you. Until then, here's a basic description: Lie on your back with a pillow under your left shoulder and your left hand behind your head. With your right hand, use the flat parts of your three middle fingers (not your fingertips) to palpate your left breast. Press firmly around the breast in a circular (clockwise) or up-and-down motion, or mentally divide your breasts into sections and examine each one separately. Now use your left hand to examine your right breast. Next, repeat the exam standing up, making sure to check the armpit area. Finally, do a visual exam in the mirror, keeping alert to any changes in the appearance of your breasts. Remember that breast tissue is full of glands, which can sometimes swell and feel hard, probably due to hormonal fluctuations. Also, some women's breasts are just naturally lumpy. However, it's important that you inform your doctor of any lump or any change such as tenderness, pain, or discharge. She can decide whether a breast ultrasound (to check for cysts) or a mammogram (to screen for a benign or cancerous tumor) is necessary.

How often should you do the exam? Monthly. The best time is about a week after your period ends, since this is when hormone levels are at their lowest and your breasts aren't tender or swollen. If you're not menstruating, due to pregnancy or breast-feeding, do the exam at the same time each month. And starting at age 40 (or sooner, if you have a family history of breast cancer), you should have a yearly mammogram.

2. Gynecologic Exam

A thorough gynecological checkup involves both a breast and pelvic exam. The pelvic includes a Pap smear, an examination of the vaginal walls, and possibly a check of the rectum. With a Pap smear—recommended for all women over 18 and for any girl who's sexually active—the doctor scrapes cells from the cervix to check for evidence of abnormalities, which could indicate or be precursors to cancer.

How often should you have the exam? Once a year. If you have a family history of certain cancers or abnormalities such as ovarian cysts, your health-care provider may wish to see you more often.

3. Cholesterol Screening

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends a blood test to screen for high cholesterol starting at age 45. However, high cholesterol is associated with coronary heart disease, so if you have a family history of heart disease, are more than 20 percent over your ideal body weight, have high blood pressure, or eat a high-fat diet, you should have this test done immediately, no matter what your age. If your cholesterol is above normal, your doctor will likely recommend dietary changes and an exercise program and may prescribe a cholesterol-lowering medication. The most accurate test involves drawing a sample of blood from your arm, then sending it to a lab for analysis. Don't rely on finger-prick tests that give instant results, since they are often unreliable.

How often should you be screened? Every three to five years, if everything is normal. If not, this test should be done yearly.

4. Type II Diabetes Screening

If you're of African, Hispanic, Native American, or Asian descent or have a parent or sibling with the disease, you're at a higher risk of developing type II diabetes—a condition in which the body becomes resistant to insulin, a hormone that is essential in helping the body convert food into energy. The illness often begins gradually after age 40, most often in people who are overweight. It can typically be controlled with diet and exercise. If you fall into a high-risk category, you should have this test done no matter how old you are; otherwise, you can wait until age 45. (This test doesn't screen for type I diabetes, which usually begins in childhood or adolescence, or gestational diabetes, which affects pregnant women.)

How often should you be screened for type II diabetes? Every three years.

5. Skin-Cancer Screening

Regular screenings for skin cancer are recommended beginning at age 18. If you haven't yet had this exam, it's important to do so. Your dermatologist or primary-care physician should examine your skin, from the top of your head to the soles of your feet, looking for suspicious moles, freckles, nodules, or lesions. If, during a self-exam, you notice changes in a freckle, mole, or lesion (it's bigger than a pencil eraser, it develops irregular borders, or it bleeds), tell your health-care provider immediately.

How often should you be screened? Yearly, either by a dermatologist or as part of your annual physical. However, if you have a history of chronic exposure to sunlight (either due to hobbies such as swimming or gardening or because of your job), have had one or more blistering sunburns, or have a family or personal history of skin cancer, your doctor may want to see you more often. Self-exams are recommended at least every three months, more often if you're at high risk.

Dana Sullivan writes about health for several national magazines and is a regular contributor to ClubMom.

Copyright © 1999-2004 ClubMom, Inc. All rights reserved.